Mom and Frank deeply depressed after seeing "Hotel Rwanda"

Wow, mom and Frank sure were in a good mood before they went out the the Angelica last night. They were talking and drinking and laughing, you know, havin a swell ol' time. Then they went and saw Hotel Rwanda and when they came back they weren't feeling so hot. They talked for a long time and then went to sleep and had wierd dreams, both of them. Me, I had a dream that my testicles grew back and that I was humping this female American Bulldog I met in Washington Square Park the other day.

All things Grandma

I am going to take this time to talk about Grandma. She is mom's mom, and she lives in Boston. I've only gotten to see her a few times, but every time I do see her all she wants to do is hold me and pet me. She is not the type of Lady to get down on her hands and knees and rough house with me, but there was this one time she ran all around her old house getting me to chase her! Grandma does not understand that I am a young dog and can not stay that still for that long. So I decided to jump out of her arms.

If I let her know there is a time limit on holding me she will learn. I do wish that she lived closer to Mom because then I would get treats and presents from her all the time. She is always sending Mom these large packeges in the mail full of usless things, and sometimes there's a treat in there for me! The only bad thing about her is that she will not let me lick her neck or kiss her on the lips. She is always saying "lips that touch dog lips will Never touch mine" I think that is from the peanuts cartoon. Well, Grandma if you read this, I love you and I want you to live closer,

but only if you let me lick you where I want!

Leaving Florida

I have to say my fun in the sun days are comming to an end. Today I have to leave Florida.

My uncle, JR almost almost fed me from the counter today! But then instead he threw me in the air and I landed on the coutch, good thing it was soft. He really loves to throw me around, he did it evey chance he could get.

I guess he was just getting back at me because at 6:30 this morning I wanted to wake up mom and JR to go and play. It was really great getting to know Asley the poodle, and it was even better pushing her in the pool! Now, Grandma is dissing me because they sat me up on the kitchen counter right next to a heeping plate of left over roast beef and I could not figure out how to get to it! Tonight when I am back in NYC I will wait untill mom is asleep and pee all over the floor, that what she gets for teasing me in Florida.

My First Christmas ( a dog's dream)

I love Florida, It is warm and mom is in a good mood, and I got to see Grandma!!!!! I love Grandma she talkes to me in this stupid voice and pets me a lot. We got picked up at the Airport by mom's brother JR and Michael and her "aunt/Grandma's bestfriend" and again had to be in a car. That car ride was ok because, it was short and as soon as it was over there were so many other dogs! Ashley the poodle, Ranger the Mutt, and Jasmin the golden retriver. They were so big and warm, Florida dogs pant a lot. I was welcomed into this great home, and got to run free. There was this big tree in the house, and I went right over to pee on it, and learned that that is not good, and the tree was there for something called Christmas.

All of these people came over to the house, and I got to smell what I heard mom call "old lady perfume", she's right it is bad. I got three litte packeges wrapped in paper, and got to chew it all with out getting yelled at! Under the paper was, a bone and a ball and chewy! All for me!!! All of a sudden mom decided to jump in to the pool, all the other dogs jumped in right after her all except me.

She swam around and played with all the balls and I could not go in to the pool. I don't like water and I was afraid of drowning. Mom finally got out of the pool and then I got to go on a really really long walk on all grass! Later that night I got to eat steak at the table and sleep on a really great carpet. If it were up to me Christmas would be every day!

Planes

Mom had the bright idea to take me with her to Florida for my first Christmas. I have to admit I was begining to like the cold weather and the streets of New York City. So I had to go the the most awful place again the other day the VET. I got a shot and my butt felt up. I am in good health, but mom took the lady aside and whispered something to her. What was it you ask, well I did not find out untill the next day.
Mom and Frank kissed eachother goodbye and I got shoved in to a bag, put in a cab and rode with mom to the Airport! I made a point of crying the whole car ride because as we all know I do not like car trips. I got out at the place mom called the airport and had to go through the security check. I took that oppertunity to vomit because all the new smells were making me mad.

I was put back in "the bag" and fed this little pill . . . Slowley I could not see, I could not whine, I could not stand. A little while later, I got put under a seat with mom's feet next to me and started to vibrate. There were all these loud noises and I was stuck in a bag and could not see mom and all of a sudden we were going up. (Please keep in mind that during all of this I was soo tired I could only see out of my left eye.) So we are up somewhere, and I am too tired to care and now my ears are really hurting, it is easly for me to get rid of the pain cause I just yawned, but I heard mom from above telling some lady that her ears hurt so bad and she could not hear. A while later we started going down, I was starting to wake up and I was still stuck in this bag, I was starting to wonder when I was going to be able to pee. It was just all too much for me and just as I was going to pee we hit the ground and mom took me out of the bag and I saw that we were on a plane. Wow, I had only heard and read about these things and I was too drugged up and stuck in a bag to enjoy it.

Lets just hope Florida is fun and will make up for that plane ride.

They went to the Zoo without me!!!

Mom and Frank went all the way to the Bronx Zoo and left me behind. Places like that are meant for me to visit. I would fit right in, I would pee outside right along side the Camel's. Mom was way too excited about the outing because she was singing that stupid song "I'm going to the zoo zoo zoo, How about you you you" I can't really hear melodies like that coming out of mom, it makes my fur crawl. Frank really wanted to see all the Monkeys because as he told mom, his great Grandfather was the head Vet there and was the first Vet to introduce the Sterile technique. His Great Grandfather sounded pretty amazing, because he used to bring home the monkeys to make them better, and his Daughter (Franks Grandma) used to get to play with them.
Frank told me an interesting fact that mom is not supposed to know, his grandma used to be able to bite her toenails off with her teeth! That is soo cool.
It was a free day at the Zoo, so all they were asking for were donations. Which meant as Mom and Frank found out some of the animals were nowhere to be found. They spent a good half an hour looking in the cage for the Okapis which is s relative to the Zebra and Giraffe. It turns out it just was not in the cage.

Oh well, next time they will go back on a paying day and bring me too. Later that Frank was soo tired after walking around the zoo all day and cooking a really great dinner for mom that he fell asleep on me.

Biking in the Snow

Last night was the first snow I have ever seen. I got to taste this white stuff and watch it fall from the sky. Mom told me that pretty soon I was going to have to start wearing a warmer coat because the snow and the wind could get really cold. Mom rode her bike in the snow for the first time also. Frank and her went to Brooklyn last night to Shannon and Tim's Christmas party. They rode over the Williamsberg bridge and got to see the snowy city from the other side of the river. I was glad when she got back home, because I was a bit scared for her. I was not even mad that she was so drunk she fell asleep on the bed in all her clothes with her shoes on, and left me on the floor to shiver.

Party on 207th street

Mom and Frank rode their bikes all the way up town to 207th street to attend a Christmas party without me. The party was at Franks's friends Jenn and Rose's house. There was even another dog there, but I heard that she was not allowed to come out and play because she ate too many baby hot dogs off the table. Good for her, if I was taller I would be doing the same. Sometimes mom puts me up high and I am taller.

Mom told me she got to see parts of NY that she had never seen before, like the west side bike path all the way to the bridge and all the hills that are in upper Manhattan. Which brings up the point that Frank was trying to make, Where did Manhattan get it's name? I did some research to find out, "William Wallace Tooker seems to have done the most thorough research around 1900. He determined that Manahttan probably derives from the Delaware Indian word mannah "island" and the northern Algonquian suffix meaning "hills": hatin, making Manhattan a "hilly island"." So not only did mom bike the farthest she ever has, but she learned something too.

It was a cathartic experience for all

I peed on the floor, I'll admit it. I just got so upset because mom was crying and using up all the tissue. Frank was being so nice to her and picking up all her tissues before they hit the floor. I was being ignored, so I had to do something about it. When people are in my house I need to be the center of attention at all times. For good measure I peed again in the same spot 20 minutes later when their backs were turned. After my loosening of the bladder and punishment, Mom and Frank left me to go see a Movie. I was willing to go with them but they told me I was not old enought to watch violence. Turns out that it was not just violence, when they came back from "Million Dollar Baby" they were depressed. And It was my turn to hand out the Kleenex.

And in other news I am 11 months old today!

The attack of the leg warmer

Since the weather has gotten colder I have begun to shiver each time I go outside for my walks. Mom had the bright idea to start making me wear a sweater. Now, I am not a cute little dog that loves to be dressed up and primped and put in a bag and never touch the ground. I am a rough and tumble boy, who wants to destroy the fact that I got a bath last night. I yearn to rub my face in the mud. Mom does not agree. Mom decides what I wear, and now she has taken to making me wear one of her old leg warmers that she cut up to fit me. It is kinda cute with the holes she cut in it for my paws but come on the Flash Dance look was soo 1980's. I like to keep up with the times, and I am afriad my outfit's do not. Lets hope that the other's in the dog run take a blind eye.

Mom Returns Home Without Bringing Me Pizza

Mom went out with Positive-Male-Role-Model-Frank last night for beer with free pizza at The Allgator Lounge in Williamsberg. They each had a pizza and mom felt a little guilty about it, most likely because she didn't bring any of it home to me. Instead of pizza, I shredded up and at an entire roll of paper towels. it was fun.
In other news, I've been spending a lot of time in the new dog carrier, it's my new favorite nap spot
Mom also got a new basket for her bike from Frank as a Hannuka present. Perhaps she'll decide to scare the living crap out of me and give me a ride in it.

The Flu has taken over my house

Mom has the Flu really bad. I don't get to go on walks, and she makes me sleep all day next to her. Last night Frank was here and mom was soo sick that she needed every blanket on her and was too cold to cuddle me or Frank. I had a field day when at like 3am mom's fever broke and she was covered in sweat, I got to lick it off!!!! That was even better than Frank's salt lick. I think that the Flu is going around because the building smells different and Carlos our Landlord is sick too, because he did not give me a treat today. Instead him and mom talked about who was sicker. I hope mom feels better by tommorow because I am trying to be really good, but I am going to need to go on a big boy walk soon. I am Not ok with Just going outside of the apartment building. I will not pee on the side of my building anymore!

mom works too much

Mom is at work now for too long. I think that I should have a babysitter, or Alicia should not work and stay over all the time. I really love all her dirty clothes. Frank only comes over when mom is there, I never get to see him alone. One time he took me for a walk all around the neighborhood just me and him, that was soo much fun. I think that everyone should be independantly wealthy, or I should have a babysitter, or I should get a playmate (a girlfriend) I was thinking that a havanese is a great breed, or maybe a maltese. Who knows I am open to anything. Christmas is comming soon, so I will keep my paws crosses!

Red hair tastes good

I have a love affair with Alicia's hair. It is red and long and has streaks of color. She is sleeping on my coutch right now and it is at the exact right level to climb up and munch on while she is sleeping. I love it and wonder if I can get sick from eating too much hair. If that does not make me sick I bet eating all her dirty laundry will!!!

I am a sleepy dog

I think that my vacation over Thanksgiving put my in a funk. All I do all day now is sleep. I think that there is something wrong with me, and mom thinks so too. I wake up in the morning and pee out side. I come back inside and sleep. I wake up to have a mid morning snack, and then go back to sleep. I wake up again aroung the time mom usually comes back from work to greet her and go for my walk, but come home and sleep some more. This has been happening for 3 whole days now! What is going on, I have almost lost my energy to work on this blog. I think those other dogs in New Bedford (the ones who gave me Flea's) got me sick. The only thing that I can seem to do other than sleep or eat is, lick Frank's neck. Ok getting sleepy, more later.

I HAVE FLEA'S

Mom has been inspecting my belly lately and holding me down and pintching little things off me and I had no idea why. Today she took me to the VET. That is the worst place in the whole world. My doctor is pretty nice but he tried to weigh me today and I would not let him. (Do you have any idea how much Turkey I ate this Thanksgiving?) So the doctor gave up, and put me up on this high slippery table. I almost fell off, thank goodness mom was holding me tight. Then I got this cold smelly goo poured on my back, it gave me the willies to feel it creep all over my skin. The doctor pulled mom aside and told her that I have a really bad case of the fleas. NOOOOOOOOOO!!!! NOT FLEA'S!!! They are itchy and taste bad and make all my good smelling beds need to be washed. I bet I got them in New Bedford. Those dogs there are going to pay next time I go back. I am going to bring them a great smelly case of Girrardia! Take that. I am now going to run and hide my favorite toy before mom finds it and tries to wash it! Lets hope I stop itching by tommorow.

Mom is back East

Finally,the week I have waited for mom is comming to an end. I get to get back in the truck and ride with Jude and mom to New york city. The place where there is no grass, no eating off a fork and endless hours waiting for mom to come home from work. It is all worth it because of the time that I do get to spend with mom one on one. And my apartment is all mine, there is no waiting on line for the same patch of grass to pee on, there is no shared attention, (all the attention goes to me). And I get to lick the sweat off of Frank's neck after his bike rides. I have so much to tell mom about; the hole I found in the Fence in the yard in New Bedford, and how now me and the cat are friends, and that even though I spent the whole week waiting for mom to come home I stil had a good time without her. Thanks mom for the best first Thanksgiving without you!

Old Town San Diego causes drunk dial

While mom is in Old Town, San Diego, I am in Old Fashioned New Bedford, Mass. Who is luckier? I heard that Frank is in St. Louis, I wonder how that is? Anyway, Mom called Frank cause she had went out with her mom and her mom's cousin and they went and ate way too much Mexican food in Old Town, San Diego. Old Town is a few miles away from the border to Mexico. The food is authentic to the max and since Mexican food is mom's favorite food you could guess she was is heaven. Mom told Frank on the phone that her mom was trying to get her to buy hot pink Ugg boots in a small store in Old Town, for the NYC winter for when she walks me. What the hell are Ugg boots and why should mom have them for me? I did a little research online about Uggs and I found out they are from Australia and that they are really good boots and work really well in cold weather. But i heard that now people in California made them popular, and they are not so cool anymore. As it turns out they are not the foot wear to wear, if you live in a warm climate. Frank hates them soo much, espically when girls wear them with short skirts. He says they look stupid with bare legs and sweating feet. I understand that, I have only my tounge to keep me cool when mom forgets to give me a hair cut. So, drunk mom tries to be pursuaded to buy ugg boots by her mom, calls Frank to give her support to not have to buy Ugg boots, all the while I am sitting in the cold waiting for my fur to grow back so I don't have to think about needing to camp out in a pair of Ugg boots to keep warm.

Oh my gosh I ate way too much!!!!

I am soo excited, I am soo excited, I am soo excited. I stuffed my face. I even got a chair at the table. I got Turkey, stuffing, gravey, sweet potatos and cranberry sause all on my own plate. Eat that Mom. I sat at the dog's table, and was the king of the animals caust I could eat the most. Even Bebe the pit bull lab could not eat as much as me. Thanksgiving is the best holiday, and it is now to be remembered by John and Noreen cause they are now engaged.

Mom missed her plane

Ok so I should not laugh but. . . Mom called Pauline (my surrogate mom for the week) and told her that she may be picking me up early cause they missed their plane. How do you miss your plane the day before thanksgiving. Everyone knows that that is one of the busiest travel days in the whole year. What a crule thing to taunt me with. I got all excited that mom may be comming back to New Bedford that I peed right on the floor, and got sick to my stomach and puked up the Wendy's burger that was fed to me earlier in the day. As it turns out she was able to get on a later flight and not have to pay a fee. So I guess I peed for nothing, and will still be having my first Thanksgiving without her.

New Bedford Mass is the kingdom I've always wanted

I am free to run, I am free to pee in the house, and I am allowed to eat off Pauline's fork. Mom has no idea how spoiled I am right now. I have no rules. Yukie and Zion went back to New York today with Alicia and Jude, so I am left alone with Bebe the lab and Pauline (Alicia'a mom). I eat off her fork at the table and she does not make me sit first. I get to run around in her yard for hours and eat grass. I never really knew what grass was untill a few days ago. I am so used to NYC sidewalk, but grass settles my stomach. I snuck down to Pauline's bacement and met the Cat today, and wow that was weird. I had a positive expirence, but I almost got my eye clawed out. I guess I can't blame the cat I would claw eyes out if my privates were sniffed by something other than a dog. More later I have to go explore New Bedford more ( I found a hole in the fence).

Mom shipped me to New Bedford

I was put in a truck (I am a city Dog) and taken on a 4 hour ride with Mom and Alicia to New Bedford Mass. To Begin, I got really car sick, I am really not used to to movements in a car, and right as mom was told to pull over to McDonalds by Alicia, I could not hold back and I let loose on mom's leg. I feel bad but she really had it comming since she did not warn me that I was about to go in a car for a long trip. After I got my car legs, the trip was over and I was dumped into a house with what really is a pack of dogs. There is Yukie the Huskie, Zion the pit bull, Bebe the lab pit mix, and Bodie the Mut. I am a Bichon Frise and and the smallest among the Mix. I learned the hard way that you have to earn rank. The other dogs like to pick me up by my neck and throw me across the yard. I found out the the fence in the yard has a hole and am debating climbing under to prove to them I can outwit the humans. Speaking of humans I heard them talking about the fact that Mom was going away to California and would be back in a week, and am just now realizing that it is Piggy against New Bedford for a while. I just hope that mom comes back soon, and or Frank can come and rescue me cause I don't know for how long I can hold my own.

Little Giant Is The Best Thing Ever

Little Giant
Originally uploaded by piggyreese.

Mom and Frank went to "Little Giant" a restaurant owned by Frank's regular customer, Tasha. Mom ate steak and brought nothing home to me! To retaliate, I took a poop on the bathroom floor. Next time she'll think twice before leaving the restaurant without a doggy bag.

Positive-Male-Role-Model Frank Cancels Cause He Feels Like Puking

Positive Male Role Model Frank was supposed to come over and cook dinner for mom tonight, but he cancelled at the last minute. He clearly doesn't have the antiseptic saliva or indestructable stomach that I do, otherwise the poorly cooked Italian sausage would have done nothing to him. Instead, he had to stay home and feel like crap. Here's hoping he doesn't have to see his lunch again.

mom no longer gets free food

Tonight was mom's last night working at Snack (the Greek restaurant). I am happy that now her nights are free, but I am more sad that the unlimited supply of feta cheese is now comming to an end. Not only am I a big fan of Spinich Pie like Frank (it's a popeye thing), but I really loved the fact I could smell Mom's day on her and try and lick off every speck of food spray. Little does she know that she gets food sprayed on her clothes in the weirdest of places, such as the back of the knee and the end of her wrist and the nape of her neck. I just love to sit on her lap and lick her to death. It is a different adventure every day!! Tonight she came home and told me that Frank and Josh came and ate dinner. I don't know this Josh character very well but from what Mom says (besides him being really late to dinner) he is a stand up guy. All I know is that He is a Friend of Frank's, and any friend of Frank's is a friend of mine. Listen all it comes down to at the end of the day is that Feta cheese came into my life and Mom shared her love of it with me. I guess from now on we will have to pay for our food.

All I wanted was for voice mail to be free

As I watch mom bitch and moan about the fact that her phone bill is way over every month, I can't help but think that If she just used the phone when she really needed it all would be well. I guess that is always easier said than done. Everything is easier said than done. Mom came home telling me about the fact that the men she was bartending were not treating her right. I think that the avoidence tactic is the best. Frank taught me to walk away at the right moment. Frank says that if someone is talking to you and you know that they are going to continue to talk just laugh and clap your hands and walk away down the bar away from the offender. The person talking gets the hint to shut up cause they snap back to reality and remember that you are at work and they remember you can't talk to them all the time. And it also gives the other person a second to reavaluate their situation and decide to shut up just in time, before they make themselves uncomfortable. That's why when you don't want to answer your phone no one should have to pay for the fact that you and the world needs a time out sometimes.

I can smell the turkey in the air

The Fall season is making Mom stir crazy. Yesterday she ran around the house like me when she first brought me home, or more like a turkey with it's head cut off. Thankfully Frank came to the rescue again. He came over at just the right time, right as she was trying to make me dance the Tango. Dog's don't dance. He made her leave the house and for the first time I was really glad to be left aone. I got a lot of work done on this blog, and finished the book "The devil wears Prada" before Mom could. That book made me understand why Mom has been so crazy lately. The horror of "Andrea's" situation really can scare the crap out of you. I got so scared that by the time Mom and Frank came back to my apartment, all I wanted to do was sit on them and cuddle, and thank God I am not a Turkey.

No More Colin Powell

Well, so much for Colin Powell. He disgraced himself and our country in front of the United Nations and drove us into an illegal war but he made really good chili. His diplomacy and chili will be sorely missed.

Just as tragic is the breakup of Lindsey Lohan with her boyfriend, Wilmer Valderrama full story here

I Got a Mohawk and Mom's Leaving Me

She thinks that I don't know that she and Frank are going away to our Nations Capital. I saw her packing her bag and shopping for a gift for his parents. Little does mom know that I have been planning a relaxing weekend of my own. Ever since she strapped me down and gave me this mohawk I have been getting longing barks from all the neighborhood girl dogs. I have finally made my choice and the bitch from downstairs is coming up for a slumber party. I have stocked up on treats and today mom washed the bathroom floor so that emberessing odor is gone. Now all I have to worry about how my little hot friend is getting into the apartment. . .

My Loaned-Out Rosary Ends Up On the Outskirts of Falluja

Look, everyone who reads this blog knows that I'm a neutured dog who supports our troops, but this is not how I expected to do it. I've been pen-palling with marines in the 4th Infantry Division who WERE stationed outside of Baquba. One of them lost a rosary, I mentioned that I had an extra, they said they'd love to have it, I send it and BOOM, they mount it on thier freaking tank! Though I didn't specify, I was expecting it to go around someone's neck, maybe it would be hung over a rear view mirror or even mushed up in a clump in someone's back pocket. That rosary is cheap plastic, I'm afraid they're going to break it while doing house to house constantly shooting 80mm rounds into hospitals and water treatment plants.

Doesn't she look just like Laura cleaning up my pee

Positive-Male-Role-Model Frank came over today. He was injured in his butt from his bike. They closed the door on me and were doing who knows what. I decided to take that time to collect my thoughts while scratching on the door and peeing on the bathroom floor. Mom's going to clean it up with paper towels, as is her wont.

Older and Wiser Laura

Mom got home last night after work to watch the last two episodes of "Law and Order". She seemed to be buzzing pretty hard on red wine and her nicotine patch. While she was eating her tatziki from work and periodically yelling out the names of actors that she knew, I noticed just how much more grounded and wise she seemed. Happy birthday indeed.
In unrelated anything, I was bored and found another Laura Cass in Springfield Texas.

Happy Birthday Laura

What Would Joey Fatone Do?

Joey Fatone would soldier on, that's what Joey Fatone would do. Sure things look bleak now, but hey, things looked bleak for Joey Fatone after N Sync broke up, but Joey Fatone picked up the pieces and moved on. He did RENT, "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" and a bunch of other stuff. In the wake of Kerry defeat, I've drawn a lot of strength from Joey Fatone. It's a lesson we can all learn from.

"Oh Loss Upon Loss" (King Lear Act IV Sc. iii)

I spent most of yesterday listening to NPR and feeling shitty. I was so goddamned upset, I took a shit on the bathroom tile and then tore up a whole roll of paper towels and sptread them around the apartment. This is fucking awful. First I lose my testicles, now this.

It's just not fair, it's Just not fucking fair.

Happy Voting Day

GET YOUR ASS TO YOUR POLLING PLACE AND VOTE!

Yeah, That's The Guy I'm Endorsing

Yeah, That's The Guy I'm Endorsing
Originally uploaded by piggyreese.

I know, I know, I'm supposed to be objective, but you know, I look at all the exposure that this blog gets and I get all of these e-mails from readers saying "Piggy man, who are you voting for/who should I vote for?" So here he is, this is the guy I'm voting for.
Yeah he's only 27 years old, yeah he's killed scores of asian people, and yes, I've heard the rumors about the size of his wang and how the sheer size of it might interfere with his ability to lead, but I still think he would be better than Bush. So here it is, my official endorsement. Vote Kerry.
To find out your polling place address go here)
That being said, let's move on to more important things, like the fact that novelist Pamela Anderson is going to be coming out with her SECOND BOOK in time for Christmas. Sure she's doing with a ghost writer, but apparently they worked very closely together (yeah whadda you THINK I mean) and it's written in her voice. You can buy your own copy of "Star: A Novel" at Amazon. I encourage you all to give it the serious attention it deserves.

Bichon as wizard or KKK

Bichon as wizard or KKK
Originally uploaded by piggyreese.

Mom got back at like, two in the morning. She smelled like falafel, booze, Frank and Rick's cat. It's all good, I went through the building trick or treating. The really old lady on level D gave me a mutton bone that weighed about five pounds. Who the hell has mutton bones? What the hell is mutton? It was delicious. I left a little trick on someone's doorstop on level F. I put a paper bag full of my poop on their doorstep and then tried to light it on fire. I don't have opposable thumbs, so I couldn't get the matches to work, so I just scratched on the door and ran when I heard them coming. Eat on that 3F!

Quality Time With Positive-Male-Role-Model Frank

Mom had to work a double today, so I was left alone in the apartment for a bit. Frank, my positive male role mode stopped by and took me for a walk. Had a great time, but forgot to make number two. Thank god for the bathroom tile floor. He came back up for a while to play with me, drink a Czech beer and watch the Simpsons. He left at about 8:00. All in all, it was like Ice Cube said: "today was a good day, I didn't even have to use my AK!"

Shorn Like Sheep

So uhhhh...yeah, got a haircut. My fur was also matting. At first the clumps of hair were annoying, but then I thought, damn, with a little bit of work and styling, I could get some really nice dreads. I passed the idea along to mom, which I THOUGHT she understood. I figured that I would get some super glue or honey or some kind of thing but no, I just got it all shaved off. Not that I'm ungrateful, or cold for that matter, I was just hoping for dreads that's all.

Saved by Eva Amurri

Saw Saved! last night. Mom was all saying how Eva Amurri's last name was just made up and Frank was saying how she looked like Susan Saranden but was tall like her father, Tim Robbins. They're both wrong! Her father is Italian film director Franco Amurri (it's not a made-up name, Susan Sarandon's not a total hippie) and NOT Tim Robbins (Frank is just obsessed with people with his same last name)

Sox Beats St. Louis like a teenagers beat winos

GOOOOOO SOX!!!

I felt so damned good about the game that I stole a few Pakistani cookies from the kitchen. Mom never eats them, she'll never know.

In other news, Ashlee Simpson screwed up her lip synching on SNL this Saturday, I'll bet I'm the first blogger to notice!

Hey Everybody

Well, this is the last day of which is a good thing I guess. I'll be spending more time with mom, but I guess this will mean less time working on my blog. It's been wierd lately, she's gone all the time and then when she's home I'm supposed to be with her all the time. The other day, I was working really hard on getting this blog started, (I have four paw pads and no thumbs) and mom's all like
"Piggy, where are you?"
"Mooommm I'm working on my blog"
"Piggy! Where did you go, come to the living room?"
"Okayyy Mommmm"
Then she got all mad when I finally did come in and started to eat one of her bras. What the hell are bras for?

Last night was the best. Momma was gone all night long and I got to watch Law and Order for three hours straight! She's a little hung over this morning, but that doesn't mean she's not taking me out to pee on the roof. Well, I'm off to go bite her toes.