Bananna Guard

So, Mom decided to buy Frank a present. It was going to be part of his birthday gift, until it came early and mom realized that she could not sit on it for that long.

When Mom and Frank went to Princeton to see Cousin Amy defend her desertion, on the way up Frank was reading a bike magazine. In the magazine there was an add for a Banana Guard.

Frank got excited because he always eats banana’s and is upset when they smash in his bag.
This Banana Guard holder seemed like such a great gift idea, that he would have no idea was coming. How many times do you look in a magazine, comment out loud at what you might like, and then actually get it? . . .

So Mom rips out the page, and goes online and finds the website. It is a little company in Canada called Banana Guard. She perused the colors, picked two she thought that Frank would like (blue and yellow) and placed the order. Since Frank’s birthday is in August, she selected ground shipment since it was the cheapest and she had a few months to wait.

One week later, the package arrived at her desk at work. She thought how fast it was, and got excited to see what they looked like. She opened the package and pulled out 2 rather large dildo looking contraptions.



She immediately turned bright red and shoved them back in the package and looked around to make sure that no one saw.

Ordering sex toys to one’s office is frowned upon in corporate America.



She took the package to the bathroom in her office and took them out and looked again. The were really made for holding banana’s, but the were a lot bigger than she thought and did not really look like they would fit all banana’s.

She went back to her desk and a few hours later she got up the courage to show the one friend she has at work. Of course her friend thought that the guards looked like giant sex toys, and then made mom put them back in the bag, so no one would see.

Right before she got home she got up the courage to ask her co-worker who happened to have a banana on her desk to take a look at the purchase and see if the banana would fit. The kicked off the next half an hour of hysterical laughing by everyone in finance, who had to hold it and walk through the halls. They finally tried the real banana in there, and it did indeed fit.



Mom decided that night after showing her friend Aubrey and watching her laugh so hard she almost cried, that she had had to give this “gift” to Frank right away.

She went home and told Frank that she had a present and had wanted it to be part of his birthday gift but now it just did not seem appropriate. She made him hold out his hands with his eyes closed and put one in each hand. She held her breath and waited for his reaction.

As anticipated he laughed really hard, and then got excited about really using it. He even went so far as to find the perfect place for it in his bag. Who knew, messenger bags have just the place for Banana Guards.



So after all that, the Banana Guard / Sex toy looking object will be gracing the streets of NYC being taken out at times were sure will not be appropriate, and if not causing confusion in others, it will at least cause laughter.