Going to New Bedford

Mom is going to New Bedford this week to Visit Alicia

and the cutie pie. She is soo excited!


There sometimes is nothing better than hanging out with a baby. Mom and Frank are then going to hang out with Grandma.

Mom is shoving me at Aunt Kris's house to play with Milo!


I foresee a whole week of hiding under the bed and being humped.

If mom ran NYC

Another cyclist has died this month in NYC area. That makes 3 in June alone.

Mom is finding it really hard not to be extremely nervous each time her and Frank or other's bike.

How can it be less dangerous? What will it take to create safer streets and better bicycle awareness.

If mom ran NYC she would know exactly what to do to make it safer.

That's like saying that the world would be a better place is more people thought like her. It sounds nice to say, but really may not be true.

But if mom was going to try and make it safer in the streets here in NY she would. . .

First make the speed limit of cars, 10 miles per hour slower. Or maybe 10 miles an hour tops. She would reinstate the constant carpool rule, in hopes that it would eliminate excess cars. She would not allow trucks in the city at all. The only large vehicles would be small dump truck, vans and maybe buss's but maybe not.

Then she would make one car lane on each street that had more than one lane totally dedicated to bikes. Forget the skinny bike lanes that are so close to parked cars, she would just make one whole large car lane.

For the other one way single lane streets she would just ban cars.

Then she would make it a complete Felony, here me felony to open a car door into traffic. She would insist that all passengers of cars in the front or back use the car door that was closest to the side walk. Speaking of that, all the sidewalks would be free because there would no longer be street parking allowed. You could only drop people off on curbs, in special designated areas like as if you are pulling up to a hotel.

Every car would have to park under ground in parking garages. The only cars that could park ever on the street would be police cars, ambulances and fire trucks (which would be allowed.)

Then she would make it a rule in companies, or any job that if you stopped driving to work, and started riding a bike you would get a $2000 tax free bonus. And if you bike to work with a co-worker who is less skilled on a bike than you get 3 extra days off a year. (in praise of being a teacher)

She would then get messengers to volunteer 2 hours a month to teach classes about changing tubes, and how to lock your bike, and anything else people would want to know. And in exchange every messenger would have health insurance.

There would also be a Bloomberg sponsored prize yearly for the person who helped the most people stop driving and start riding their bikes, taking buses etc. and worked to make the streets a safer place for cyclists. The prize would be a college education for 10 people of their choosing and free bikes for life.

Then to make sure that Transportation Alternatives continued to be the best company, she would give them and everyone who worked there 1 million dollars a year. (it being a non profit and all, that money would have to be for very specific reasons which would be determined)

Mom would then, stop the rain and the snow in the city, so that every day was a great biking day.

She would turn some of the old parking spaces in to great bike parking that was safe, and supervised. She would also have cute valet bike parking for people who had more money to spend. She would also make sure that all those employee's working bike parking had health insurance.

Every other street meat cart would also sell tubes, and air pumps, and tires and other necessary bike parts. So you could always fix a problem.

And to top it all off, she would remove the gas stations from the city and replace them with bike shops, and quick repair places open 24 hours. This would be so no one was ever stranded and could always get their bike fixed.

Ok so obviously there are problems with this idea, like how would people carry heavy things, or if you can’t walk or physically ride a bike what would you do? And I am sure if mom spent a few more hours on this she would think of something.

But of course this fantasy has to come to an end. That is of course unless the rest of the world thinks this way too . . .

I guess all mom is asking is for no more cyclist death’s to happen. And for the city to be a safer place to bike in. But until then, those who passed will be remembered and missed. And when this city is a safer place they will not be forgotten.

Bananna Guard

So, Mom decided to buy Frank a present. It was going to be part of his birthday gift, until it came early and mom realized that she could not sit on it for that long.

When Mom and Frank went to Princeton to see Cousin Amy defend her desertion, on the way up Frank was reading a bike magazine. In the magazine there was an add for a Banana Guard.

Frank got excited because he always eats banana’s and is upset when they smash in his bag.
This Banana Guard holder seemed like such a great gift idea, that he would have no idea was coming. How many times do you look in a magazine, comment out loud at what you might like, and then actually get it? . . .

So Mom rips out the page, and goes online and finds the website. It is a little company in Canada called Banana Guard. She perused the colors, picked two she thought that Frank would like (blue and yellow) and placed the order. Since Frank’s birthday is in August, she selected ground shipment since it was the cheapest and she had a few months to wait.

One week later, the package arrived at her desk at work. She thought how fast it was, and got excited to see what they looked like. She opened the package and pulled out 2 rather large dildo looking contraptions.



She immediately turned bright red and shoved them back in the package and looked around to make sure that no one saw.

Ordering sex toys to one’s office is frowned upon in corporate America.



She took the package to the bathroom in her office and took them out and looked again. The were really made for holding banana’s, but the were a lot bigger than she thought and did not really look like they would fit all banana’s.

She went back to her desk and a few hours later she got up the courage to show the one friend she has at work. Of course her friend thought that the guards looked like giant sex toys, and then made mom put them back in the bag, so no one would see.

Right before she got home she got up the courage to ask her co-worker who happened to have a banana on her desk to take a look at the purchase and see if the banana would fit. The kicked off the next half an hour of hysterical laughing by everyone in finance, who had to hold it and walk through the halls. They finally tried the real banana in there, and it did indeed fit.



Mom decided that night after showing her friend Aubrey and watching her laugh so hard she almost cried, that she had had to give this “gift” to Frank right away.

She went home and told Frank that she had a present and had wanted it to be part of his birthday gift but now it just did not seem appropriate. She made him hold out his hands with his eyes closed and put one in each hand. She held her breath and waited for his reaction.

As anticipated he laughed really hard, and then got excited about really using it. He even went so far as to find the perfect place for it in his bag. Who knew, messenger bags have just the place for Banana Guards.



So after all that, the Banana Guard / Sex toy looking object will be gracing the streets of NYC being taken out at times were sure will not be appropriate, and if not causing confusion in others, it will at least cause laughter.

John and Noreen's Wedding

Mom and Frank went to John and Noreen's wedding this past weekend.
Mom got to be a brides maid and wear a fun dress and an even funner rain coat!

Mom and Frank went to the rehearsal the night before.

This was Noreen in the church practicing.

This is the wedding party and dinner.

Limo Time! Mom got to ride in a pimped out Limo. She felt like she was on MTV.


Mom loves this pic.

This is Noreen's dad walking her down the isle. She looked so beautiful, everyone cried.


The is mom in her dress after the ceremony.


The rain coats they wore to protect their dress's were fantastic!


The wedding was beautiful and full of fun people and fun times.


It was great to see John and Noreen so happy and looking beautiful!

Congrats to them!